Comments to Group RD

Phuong

Talking about the chapter length and the amount of chapters got really redundant. Paragraph three is not complete, maybe it got cut off; you should edit that. The way you explain the sections of the book is kind of confusing. You say in the paragraph before that the coma and the sleep state confuse you, but then you say that there are three different sections of his coma. That makes it really confusing. Also you need tags in your introduction paragraph.


Amber G

1. I really like your analysis of Talon. It really makes sense how you say his character was shaped by the life he lived on the streets, and how he really is an adult in a child's body.
2. I really the dialogue you used to convey his character. "Talon makes Church officials laugh with his childish suggestions, he makes Knights blush with his perverse comments, he makes nobles confused and he makes other thieves jealous. Talon has such a broad character that fits perfectly inside the small stature of a young thief." It really allows me to see him in the book.
3. Maybe somehow make a deeper analysis of the character....go into greater detail about how his character was shaped, connect that idea to something else, ect. lol.
But overall good review.

Shiyun

There is not transition between paragraphs three and four, it went straight to your idea of the purpose of the book. “After finishing The Hunger Games, I thought that it was a very great book. It got very intense and exciting to read near the middle of the book. Its like you can not stop flipping the pages. This was really a great book, it taught me alot about how government runs when it takes control of the people. This book is intended to tell people about this kind of government system; warning the possibility that out government system might turn out this way.” this paragraph makes me want to read the book. Good job at telling how you felt while reading the book. The way you describe your book makes me want to read it too, good job at trying to convince the audience that the book is great for reading.